At the tender age of 25, I prided myself on leading a sensible and prudent life, steering clear of the allure of gambling. Unfortunately, the stark contrast between idealistic aspirations and harsh reality was about to unfold before my very eyes.
In 2019, a friend introduced me to a gambling software called Tian*pc28. I observed him playing daily, occasionally winning hundreds or even thousands of dollars. As is human nature, witnessing others’ success sparked a desire within me to try my luck. I requested the download link from my friend, followed his instructions to register an account, and filled in the required information. I joined him in making bets, whether it be wins or losses.
Initially, I began with small bets, wagering tens of dollars and happily pocketing profits of a few hundred. I felt a surge of joy, believing I had discovered a path to fortune. From that point onward, I immersed myself in endless gambling sessions, increasing my bets and resorting to doubling them when faced with losses. The software boasted high odds, enticing me to bet more in the hope of winning bigger. For a while, I experienced some victories, fueling my desire to bet incessantly. It became second nature, a constant compulsion that I indulged in day and night.
Perhaps due to beginner’s luck, I won enough to withdraw cash on three separate occasions. Regrettably, I lacked self-control. I squandered the money on extravagant dining experiences, indulging in unnecessary purchases like headphones and shoes. Even a meager RM80 dinner bill became an obsession, compelling me to reclaim it through further gambling. On June 7th, with approximately RM50,000 to RM60,000 in hand, I ventured back into the world of gambling. If only I had stopped at that moment, it would have been a miraculous turn of events.
Yet, the relentless pursuit of fortune imprisoned me, and I continued gambling until I had exhausted all the cash in my possession. Left with nothing, I spent an entire day immobilized on my bed, devoid of appetite or motivation. My mind spiraled into a state of regret, questioning why I hadn’t stopped after my initial victories. Sleep evaded me that night, and I found myself disinterested in all aspects of life. The following day, driven by desperation, I borrowed RM20,000 from a friend and delved back into gambling. The losses piled up, and when my balance plummeted from RM20,000 to RM8,000, impatience took over. I foolishly placed a large bet in Stud Poker, resulting in a catastrophic streak of 17 consecutive losses. I liquidated my remaining cash, losing it all.
I can’t express the depths of my despair. The extreme joy that had temporarily consumed me now gave way to profound sadness. If only I had refrained from withdrawing that money, perhaps the losses wouldn’t have been as devastating. I berated myself for my foolishness, contemplating my actions during a conversation with my friend the following day. It turned out he had lost RM3,000 in the same gambling endeavor. In a moment of madness, I decided to recharge an additional RM5,000, hoping to recoup my losses. However, luck evaded me, and within an hour, I had relinquished all the money I had won.
Panic overwhelmed me, and my mental state deteriorated rapidly. Without a second thought, I resorted to using my credit card to obtain RM30,000 in cash and continued gambling. My friend assured me not to worry, advising me to call it quits if I faced further losses. In that moment, I foolishly believed that if I could walk away once, I could do it again. Alas, the gods of gambling showed no mercy. I continued losing and buying more credit. Within a short span, I lost the entire RM30,000 and even borrowed RM30,000 more from another friend. It seemed this friend had a higher credit limit, enabling me to borrow such a substantial amount. Yet, I lost it all.
Desperation drove me to borrow an additional RM8,000 in cash, which I promptly lost within half an hour of placing my bets. In this manner, I recklessly oscillated between borrowing and losing, with sums totaling over RM130,000. I felt lost in life, unsure of my next move. However, I resolved to repay the debts gradually, even though the burden weighed heavily upon me. As the month turned to the first of the present day, I vowed never to gamble again. I dedicated myself to working diligently and honestly, using my earnings to repay my debts. With the recent Basketball World Cup, a mere RM500 was spent on downloading a gambling software. I placed a bet on the Chinese team, hoping for a win, but alas, luck was not on my side. Only RM168 remained, and I had no desire to chase after further winnings.
I couldn’t comprehend the twist of fate. Yet, destiny seemed to have chosen me as its vessel once more. In a surprising turn, I accumulated over RM7,000 from RM168 by playing a game called fried gold flower. Encouraged by my success, I tried my hand at Niu Niu, using my winnings to place bets. Miraculously, I multiplied my initial sum, amassing RM150,000 in under three hours. Sadly, an unexpected mishap occurred when I attempted to withdraw the cash. Frustration mounted as I contacted customer service, only to be informed that there was an issue with my bank card information. They asked me to wait for 24 hours. I complied, waiting patiently, only to receive the same response on the following day. This back-and-forth continued for three days…
In a last-ditch effort, I consulted customer service once more. They instructed me to wait an additional two days before resubmitting my withdrawal request. Cold realization struck me; it seemed as though the website had been compromised. I contemplated withdrawing my remaining balance and never gambling again, resolving to pay off all my debts. Unfortunately, I was unable to withdraw the funds. It appeared that I had indeed fallen victim to a hacking scheme. The ordeal became too much to bear. Overwhelmed by the mounting pressure, and unsure whom to confide in, I dialed my father’s number and poured out my heart, recounting the entire debt-ridden journey. I couldn’t bring myself to confess the full extent of my losses—RM130,000—instead settling for a more modest sum of around RM50,000. I assured my father that I would gradually repay the credit card debt, including the installment payments for the accrued interest. My father, in his wisdom, remained silent, urging me to contemplate the odds. In gambling, nine out of ten times, one cannot emerge victorious.
I heeded his advice. After losing RM130,000, I spent my days scouring online forums, reading stories of how online gambling had wreaked havoc on people’s lives. The experience had been nothing short of disastrous. I slowly embarked on the arduous journey of debt repayment, striving for stability and tranquility in my life. As of this month, I have refrained from gambling entirely. I focus on my work diligently, channeling my efforts toward honest pursuits. Each month, after settling my mortgage payments, I allocate the remaining funds toward repaying my debts. Recently, I found myself tempted by the Basketball World Cup and downloaded a gambling software once again. This time, I deposited a mere RM500, intending to bet on the Chinese team’s victory. However, the outcome was unfavorable. Merely RM168 remained in my account, and I no longer harbored any illusions of winning big.
Rather than succumbing to despair, I reminded myself of the lessons I had learned. Online gambling is replete with traps, and my initial stake was a mere RM500. My father’s words echoed in my mind, reminding me that if I were able to withdraw my funds, I would likely continue gambling, doubling my efforts to recoup my losses. In a strange way, being unable to withdraw the money served as a blessing in disguise, preventing me from delving deeper into the treacherous realm of online gambling. The principal sum of RM500 became inconsequential. My father also imparted valuable wisdom, reminding me that our family was not affluent, facing numerous financial obligations throughout the year. I couldn’t allow myself to dwell on my losses any longer. As an adult, it was time for me to be responsible and sensible.
Tears welled up in my eyes as I reflected on the impact of my actions, not only on my own life but also on my family. My father had borne the weight of my mistakes and troubles, adding to his own burdens. I had been a source of trouble, inflicting further pain upon him. I realized then that I had not been a good son. But now, I resolved to change. I had no hope of withdrawing my remaining balance, and I chose to accept it as a mere game and a fleeting dream. Waking up from this dream, I committed myself to honest work. Despite the debts that still lingered—approximately RM90,000—I found solace in knowing that I could gradually repay them, restoring stability and harmony to my life.
As I move forward, I let go of the lingering regrets, acknowledging the consequences of my choices. No longer shall I be entrapped by the allure of online gambling, for I am still young, and brighter days lie ahead. I release myself from the clutches of this ill-fated affair, recognizing the damage it has caused and vowing never to repeat the same mistakes. I focus on the present, working diligently to build a better future and repaying my debts with sincerity and determination.