The Turbulent Journey of Online Gambling

In the delivery room, my wife was giving birth, and even though the sound insulation was good, I could still hear her feeble calling.

Outside the delivery room, I was sitting upright, holding my phone tightly in both hands. When someone passed by, I would always stand up like a guilty conscience, pretending to be nervous inside.

After making sure there was no one around, I secretly glanced at my phone.

This game, I won.

…

…

I am, or used to be, a gambler.

After marriage, I fell into online gambling out of curiosity.

The first contact was due to a page that popped up suddenly on the laptop.

Page is a scantily clad woman with the Ace of Spades in her mouth.

Chingmy Yau, my lovely star.

In the past, this kind of page popped up, and I would close it directly.

But for some reason that day, I accidentally clicked in.

According to the introduction, I registered my personal information, and then I was prompted to recharge.

Oh, liar.

I was about to turn it off when the phone rang suddenly, and it was Hong Kong.

I answered the phone, and a crisp female voice came, with a standard Taiwanese accent.

“Boss, we are the online development company of xx (the name of Macau Casino), and I just saw you register under our company. I am your private croupier, Ms Quah.

If you have any questions when betting, you can consult me. Now the company is in the stage of developing online membership. We have given you a bonus of 188 yuan. You can withdraw money after five times the turnover. Do you need it? “

Listening to her half-understood words, I began to ask questions, and after confirming that I didn’t need to recharge a penny to get the 188 bonus, I readily agreed.

Soon, I saw that my interface balance showed 188 yuan. Under Ms Quah’s guidance, I clicked on a gambling interface called “Live Baccarat”.

The long-rumored “sexy dealer, online card dealer” was finally unveiled after I entered this interface.

Even with its colorful interface and mind-boggling mechanics, I understood the logic of the game pretty quickly.

Isn’t it just a simple comparison of size.

Anyway, I don’t need to pay, I just go up against some banker, idle, and make random bets.

Tens of seconds later, it was displayed in the middle of the page that you had won. I checked the balance, and it was less than 30 yuan more.

I asked Ms Quah why the odds were not 1:1, and she explained to me again, saying that the platform only charges a 5% commission.

I was confused, but it doesn’t matter, it’s not my money after all.

I started betting at 30 yuan and 50 yuan, and the hit rate was surprisingly high. Soon I accumulated 400 yuan.

I also gradually learned the basic rules, until now I still play it as a game, and don’t have any expectations.

I also know the so-called turnover, which is 50 yuan to win a game and lose a game. Although I won’t lose or win, but on the platform, I have generated 100 yuan of turnover.

Soon, the balance came to 700 yuan. I looked at my turnover, and it was already more than 1,200 yuan, which was five times what Ms Quah said.

I clicked Withdraw and entered my bank card number.

As of now, I still don’t think it’s possible.

Then, a few minutes later, the phone beeped.

My bank card received 700 yuan.

I was sitting lazily in front of the laptop, but when I saw the information of the account, I sat up straight.

Even if my knee hit the corner of the table due to too much movement, I didn’t care about it.

I grinned and opened the app, looked at the bill and balance repeatedly, and my mind was overwhelmed.

Although I am not tired from work for a month, my salary is only 5,000 yuan after deducting the odds and ends.

Converted down to less than 170 a day.

But in just this moment, I earned a full seven hundred yuan in extra money, my four days’ wages.

700 a day, 21,000 a month, what about a year?

I still have to go to a football class, and I still have to worry about the car loan.

Although it was only 700 yuan, I recovered for a long time.

I don’t know if it’s itching or instinctively feel that this way of making money is too outrageous.

I opened that interface again and recharged 200 yuan.

Going back to the game of baccarat, the originally gorgeous interface looks gentle at this moment, those sexy croupiers who didn’t look pretty at the first time seem to be kind-hearted at the moment.

According to the previous style of play, I carefully read the rules while playing, and this time I read them very seriously.

When I won 700 yuan again, I found that I couldn’t help falling in love with this game.

I couldn’t help but changed my dream of winning 700 yuan a day to winning 1400 yuan.

Not long after the account arrived again, my wife came back.

Tossing and turning, sleepless all night.

Looking at my wife who was still sleeping beside me, I tiptoed up, and quietly came to the living room with my notebook again.

For some reason, I feel a little cold for no reason.

Facing the bedroom door, I tremblingly opened the website.

Maybe it started too smoothly, and I was a little reluctant to stop for a while.

My heart throbbed a little.

I want to play bigger.

Seeing the profit of more than 1,000 yuan, I gritted my teeth and pressed all of it.

Greed escalates again.

But this time I lost.

I’ve often thought, if I hadn’t made this bet that day,

Will my life be different?

Probably not, just keep betting,

This bet is bound to happen.

The profits from the previous few times, my private money, and then the bank card in the bedroom.

It wasn’t until I lost nearly 30,000 yuan and I became a little anxious that the turning point finally appeared.

I gradually entered the rhythm of winning money before.

Ever victorious.

Soon, as I bet bigger and bigger,

Not only did I win back everything I lost, I even won more than 10,000 more.

Surprise?

No, I think it’s a miracle.

From that day on, I gambled bigger and bigger, and lost more and more courageously.

Without guidance or inducement, I walked straight to the gate to hell.

Also from that day on, my wife will receive my inexplicable “bonuses” from time to time.

She has no education, resigned after marriage and became a housewife at home, so to lie to such an honest woman who is stupid, loves me and loves to death, I don’t need to weave such a perfect lie.

Now that I think about it, it’s ridiculous. I can say that the company let me pay in advance, and I can easily ask her for 20,000 to 30,000 yuan. I can say that I have a good project as a side job. If it finally achieves the desired effect, I can buy it for her next year. car.

Of course, you have to give me 200,000 start-up capital first.

In short, with her, I never made up any lies in advance. I just picked them up when I saw her. In the end, no matter what, she would give me the money I asked for.

Soon, I lost all my savings before marriage, as well as the 100,000 yuan dowry her father gave her when she married.

I was heartbroken in front of her, saying that I had misjudged the wrong person at the beginning, and such a good project, I didn’t expect it to be a liar who lied to me.

When the love was deep, I even shed crocodile tears. I peeked at her reaction while crying, for fear that she would ask me the bottom line or call the police.

She is really stupid, after watching me cry like a bitch for a while, she held my hand and encouraged me heartily, saying, start all over again.

Yes, I definitely want to start all over again, how could I be willing to lose so much money.

I wiped my tears, lay in her arms, and said from the bottom of my heart, you are really kind.

Later, accompanied by her, I found my retired father and mother.

The same tears, the same grief, plus her prestige bonus in front of my parents, I easily “melted” a large sum of money – my parents’ coffin book.

After getting the money, I swore I would never gamble again.

The next night, I sat on the toilet and lost all the money.

After losing all my money, I sat on the toilet for a full hour. My legs and buttocks were so numb that I couldn’t feel it, but I just couldn’t get up.

Like a puddle of mud.

I thought a little excitedly, or just die on the toilet like this.

From panic at the beginning to numbness, I never thought that the money was kept from me for more than a month. I naively thought that my wife had forgotten about it, until one day a month later, she told me She is pregnant.

When I heard this sentence, my first reaction was, it’s over, I’m asking for money.

I really couldn’t act excited, but because I was nervous, I looked extremely embarrassed. Seeing that I was at a loss after hearing it, she thought it was because I was overly surprised, and even praised me for being cute in a daze.

In desperation, I began to secretly apply for credit cards and borrow online loans.

Some people will be curious, why don’t I borrow it from my friends?

Over the past month or so, I squeezed all my best friends several times, and after I was sure that I couldn’t squeeze out the water, I had to think of a new way.

“Dear Mr. xx, the xxxx credit card you applied for has been approved, and it is expected to be mailed to the address you filled in within ten working days.”

Some cards will give me information similar to a temporary card number. With this information, I can spend online without having to hold a card.

Therefore, 3 of the 5 credit cards approved have not been mailed to me, and I have already lost all the credits in them.

In online loans, if you borrow a sum and lose a sum, you will never stay overnight.

I remember very clearly that one day a month later, I won 480,000 yuan from the 3,500 yuan I borrowed through online loans (2,750 yuan in hand).

480,000, if I stop here, I can pay off all my friends’ money, make up for the previous deficit, and return me to a normal life.

I held the money in the card for three full days. During these three days, I neither gambled nor paid off the debt, nor told my wife.

My heart is going crazy.

The instinctive sense of crisis told me that this was the last chance God gave me, hurry up to pay back the money, quit gambling, live an honest life, and have a bright future.

The inexplicable throbbing in my mind was seducing me, saying, you haven’t paid back your money, win more, get back everything you lost and then stop.

Obviously, the latter gradually gained the upper hand.

On the fourth day, I gambled all night.

Do you think I lost again? How is it possible, as if I had the help of a god, I more than doubled the balance in my card in just one night.

At this time, I not only won back all the money I lost before, but I can even consider the full amount of the mini I promised to buy for my wife.

1.04 million, what an attractive balance for ordinary people.

But after a little calculation, I feel that it is far from enough.

After paying off the debt, there is still 340,000 yuan left, and buying a car for my wife counts as 25 yuan. What will I do after my child is born? I must arrange the best hospital for him, find the most professional confinement wife, and eat the most expensive food imported milk powder.

Alas, there is no way, continue to gamble, and stop if you don’t win 1 million?

I have already figured out how to distribute the next one million won. For me who is inflated at this time, this one million is just the work of my hard night. I have already mastered what those bad gamblers can’t grasp.” Baoying technology”, money is just a number to me.

With a generous stake and strong self-confidence, I made my first bet of 50,000 yuan.

Fifty thousand yuan, my annual salary, I just touched the phone screen a few times, and it was put on the table like this.

Won, off to a good start.

I lit a cigarette, stared at the screen for a long time, and my mind was running wildly about how to bet on the next game. At this time, I have completed 1/20 of the task. I only need to win 19 times and 50,000, and I can Realized at least ten years of financial freedom.

It was midnight at this time, my wife was already sound asleep, and I was quietly sitting on the sofa in the living room, ready for battle.

The sudden sound of the door opening scared me to the point where cigarette ashes fell all over me. I hurriedly sat up, first turned off the screen of my phone, and then patted my clothes indiscriminately.

After I dealt with all this, in the dark, I stood up and met my wife’s eyes.

“Why do you always stay up in the middle of the night, sneaking around, have you done something bad?”

She didn’t turn on the light, maybe she was pregnant, and her temper became a lot bigger, and her tone was quite complaining.

I smiled awkwardly, then touched my head and said in a low voice, “Chou, I can’t sleep.”

“Why can’t I sleep? Didn’t my parents solve it for us? You must have something to hide from me. You can’t be gambling, right?”

A woman’s sixth sense is indeed terrifying, even such a dull woman can understand it from my usual differences.

These words instantly pierced my heart like a thorn, and I yelled at her uncontrollably.

“Who do you think I am? Although I was cheated by others in business, you can’t classify me as a gambler, right?”

Even in the dark, I can see the excellent acting of my face distorted because of being wronged.

Sure enough, the roar dispelled her doubts, and she slowly came over and took my hand, saying, husband, don’t stress, everything will be fine.

I breathed a sigh of relief in my heart, gently stroked her hair, and said vaguely, don’t worry, good days are coming soon.

After she came out of the bathroom, she comforted me again. After telling me things like don’t smoke, it’s not good for the baby’s development, and go to bed early, she gently closed the bedroom door.

The lights dimmed again, and I felt so comfortable, I don’t know when I started to like the dark.

I couldn’t wait to open the previous page. When I saw that the result that had already been issued was the same as what I had just thought in my heart, I looked in the direction of the bedroom and cursed in a low voice.

“A fool who succeeds more than fails.”

The so-called morale rises once, declines again, and exhausts three times. The same is true for gambling.

It seemed that her appearance ruined all my luck, even if I played cautiously, it was hard to win. After losing seven or eight times in a row, I became a little angry because of anger.

The balance in the account was more than 120,000 at this time, and I bet all of it like crazy.

120,000, and it was taken away by someone I couldn’t see.

I can feel how ugly my hideous face is in the dim light of the phone, but I don’t care.

Recharge 50,000, kill.

100,000, kill.

…

I thought it was a protracted battle, but I didn’t expect it to be a one-sided massacre.

Just half an hour or more, forty minutes?

I have no idea.

All I know is that it takes so little time to go from millionaire to debt.

so tired.

This time, I slept for a long time without dreaming.

When I woke up, besides being dizzy, I even felt a little lost: I am not dead yet?

I looked at the time, it was already three o’clock in the afternoon, my wife didn’t know where she was, and I looked at my phone, I saw so many phone calls and text messages from my colleagues, but I didn’t hear a single bit.

But it doesn’t matter, even though I don’t even have 5,000 yuan with me now, I don’t have the slightest respect for the job with a monthly salary of 5,000 yuan.

When I got up, I didn’t know what to eat, so I randomly stuffed a few mouthfuls of the leftovers that had cooled down at noon, and then I regained my senses a little.

Strange, I’ve been asleep until now, why didn’t my wife call me, what is she doing now?

Therefore, gamblers are sometimes very alert.

I suddenly thought of the credit card bill my bank sent me when I woke up.

Although she doesn’t know my mobile phone password, she must be able to see the beginning of the message I sent.

So what is she doing now?

I became a little excited, yes, excited.

The pain of losing money at night disappeared instantly, and I boldly thought, my wife must have gone to her natal family to borrow money from her parents.

With this mentality, I sat in the living room until night.

When my wife opened the door, my heart suddenly rose to my throat.

Turning on the light, she glanced at me sitting in the living room, and walked directly into the bedroom.

She didn’t have a trace of expression throughout the whole process, making me feel like a student who didn’t do her homework and was spot-checked by the teacher, and my whole heart almost jumped out.

I followed her into the bedroom, and she seemed to be waiting for me to come in. She sat by the bed and looked at me quietly, unable to see clearly the sorrow and joy.

Such an atmosphere drove me almost crazy, I asked timidly, what’s wrong?

No response.

She remained silent as if she was examining the prisoner, as if she was waiting for me to confess.

My heart broke, and I said, I shouldn’t lie to you. The previous investment was not 200,000, but 700,000. I borrowed from friends and took out some loans to make up enough.

This is the rhetoric that came to my mind in a flash of inspiration in the afternoon. After careful polishing, it has now become a seamless lie.

These words hit what she thought in her heart, and she finally sighed.

In the following time, I began to narrate what happened, and began to confess my stupidity from the bottom of my heart. I am familiar with this set of performances, and I can stitch together the details seamlessly on any day and place.

During this period, she gradually began to ask me some of the confusion in her heart, and I answered every question without giving myself any room to think, for fear that my answering slowly would arouse her suspicion.

After I explained all her doubts consciously and perfectly, she finally picked up the bag on the bedside table.

She still loves me, she took out the thing I most want to see, the bank card.

An ordinary person, even if he is not highly educated, knows the principle of repaying debts.

She asked me to turn on my phone and list the online loans and credit cards I owe.

Of course, I have prepared for these, but not to alert myself, but to make the anxiety I have shown recently appear more real.

3500, 5000, 12000, every time I pay back, I delete this app in front of her. I don’t know how much money she has in her card. I only know that later, the money will be my return to a millionaire capital.

A person who won a million with a few thousand dollars a few days ago, no matter how reasonable you tell him, he will only deny the value of labor.

Finally, after a long inventory, I’m debt-free again.

It’s hard to describe that feeling, I couldn’t help laughing out loud, walked over to her and kissed her hard, regardless of her disgusted resistance.

It’s hard for a lover to persuade the damn ghost.

Later, I tirelessly downloaded all the borrowed software back.

I’m a little fuzzy on the details, I just remember less than a week and I’m back to the lows.

I won for several days and won 270,000 yuan. When my confidence was completely ignited again, my wallet returned to zero again.

I became moody, to my family, to my pregnant wife, to my colleagues, to my boss.

Finally, within a few weeks, after I lost the 5,000 yuan salary I just received, I decided to fire the company.

Things have come to this point, I have become insensitive to losing money and debts, I am too lazy to keep accounts, every time I make money together, I will pay off the online loans and credit cards I owe one by one, and then lose it all.

I started thinking about a house.

A boss desk, a boss chair, an area of 20 to 30 square meters, a bald middle-aged man with dragons and phoenix dancing on his body, fat head and big ears, is putting his feet on the desk, leaning on the boss chair and playing leisurely cell phone.

When I came here again the next day, seeing such a working environment, I immediately retreated.

Instead, when he saw me, he immediately put his feet down, got up and asked in a rough dialect: Which one are you looking for?

Even if he talks to me normally, I think he has a fierce look in his eyes, which is probably the case for the so-called underworld image.

I glanced at him, and then looked at the paintings on the surrounding walls. Although I was extremely disgusted, I was so anxious that I still mustered up the courage to speak up while waiting for money to save my life.

“This mortgage house, what kind of mortgage process is it?”

Then he began to answer the questions in my mind one by one.

During the period, when he heard that my wife would not sign, he waved his hand and said, that’s not okay.

I cursed in my heart, if my wife didn’t sign it, would I deal with someone like you?

Hearing this, I was too lazy to continue talking nonsense with him, so I immediately got up to pack my things.

Seeing that I was about to leave, he finally waved his hand to signal me to wait, and then he went out and made a phone call.

About ten minutes later, he came back with a cigarette in his mouth and said, I just asked the boss, it’s okay without my wife’s signature, but only 300,000 yuan will be loaned, with 1,500 yuan a day’s interest, and ten days’ interest will be deducted from the principal first, that is to say, when you get it 285,000, ten days.

I frowned when I heard that it was only 300,000 yuan. I originally expected 600,000 yuan in my heart, but because my wife didn’t sign it, it was cut in half.

As for interest.

I don’t care about the amount of interest at all, because what I plan to do is, if I get this money to win one hundred and eighty thousand yuan, I can get back the house principal, and there will be tens of thousands more principal in my hand.

What if you lose?

Please, I never thought about losing. Gamblers have a very strong self-healing ability. After this month of hiding my strength and biding my time, I feel that my luck has returned again.

After the money arrived, I began to seriously think about something, a ritual that sounds ridiculous and stupid to ordinary people.

I live on the twelfth floor, and there are basically no people walking around the stairway. There is a small window in the middle of the aisle, and the afterglow of the setting sun outside shines in, which is quiet and peaceful.

I think this can absorb “Yang Qi” without being disturbed by others. It is an excellent place to win money.

So I decided that I will rely on Yang Qi to get luck here next.

After finding a ladder, sitting down and turning on my phone, I couldn’t restrain my trembling.

excited? nervous? Fear? Stimulate?

I think these emotions should account for a little bit, after all, since the last fiasco, I haven’t bet so big in a month.

Until I finished recharging, my hands, shoulders, and lips were still trembling.

Maybe it was because I couldn’t get angry with myself for being so hopeless, so I slapped myself hard.

The effect was immediate, the pain made me calm down, and soon, I was immersed in the game.

After learning the previous lessons, I recharged 250,000 at one time based on the idea of more principal and less money.

The reason why I keep 3.5 as a backup is to prevent that if the money is lost, I can continue for another ten days and then think of other ways.

As for what other methods are, I don’t know myself, but there is no unparalleled path, and I always feel that even if I lose, this crisis will always be overcome.

Sure enough, this is a treasure land of geomantic omen, and I won 30,000 yuan without bloodshed.

I did not choose to withdraw money. The lessons of history told me that it is easy to win 30,000 with 300,000. As long as I am not greedy, I can be a person again in two or three months at most.

Suppressing the idea of continuing to gamble, I turned off my phone and returned home.

My wife went to her natal home after the prenatal checkup, and said she would stay for 3 to 5 days, but now that she is gone, I am inexplicably scared.

Because I was afraid that I couldn’t help but continue to gamble later, I immediately sent her a message, saying, wife, I miss you.

She returned with a warm expression.

Seeing this expression, I have mixed feelings in my heart.

How lucky it is to have someone who is waiting for you!

I don’t know what to reply. I thought about it for a long time before I sent it and said, don’t eat at my parents’ house today. I will take you out for a big meal. I haven’t gone shopping with you for a long time. I must compensate you more in the future.

I say this from the bottom of my heart, but only after I get back all the money I lost.

As I write this, I think of what is said on the Internet that material things are more important than feelings, and I cannot agree with them.

I can tell you responsibly.

A woman who truly loves you, even if you have nothing, she will never leave you.

Ever since I learned to gamble, I have become glib. On the way out to eat, I made my wife laugh from ear to ear.

Maybe she likes me like this.

Laughing and laughing, I suddenly shed tears.

My already numb nerves told me that this is a long-lost feeling of guilt.

Wife, wait a little longer, when I stand up, I will definitely not gamble again, and then I will take you out for a big meal every day.

In fact, the so-called big meal is nothing more than a Teochew porridge, no matter how expensive the restaurant is, for me at this time, I would not blink, but she is different.

I said to eat seafood, she said it was too expensive.

I said to eat western food, she said it was too expensive.

I said buy you some jewelry.

She would say it was too expensive.

…

The days went by like this without any waves, and I stopped when I won about 30,000 every day, and I have developed a “good habit”.

The rest of the time, I would go to the park to watch the old man play chess. When others were busy with work, I would stand behind the old man and give directions, pointing the country, not shying away from the disgusting eyes cast by the chess players.

They should also be surprised, such a young guy, why doesn’t he find something to do, and comes here every day to make trouble for us old men.

I don’t care, work?

It was done by the poor. I earn 30,000 a day. What kind of work are you talking to me about?

The ten-day deadline came as promised, and on my way to find the bald head, the bald head just happened to call me.

“Brother Zhi, I’m on my way here, I won’t continue, you bring my house book with you.”

Backdoor operations are not uncommon for gamblers.

When I transferred 300,000 to him, he still couldn’t believe it. After all, they rarely see such people who can keep the contract. After all, if there is no way, who would want to borrow anti-aircraft guns from them (usury) Woolen cloth?

After finishing the accounts, he handed me a company business card in a serious manner, and told me to contact me at any time if I need it in the future, and he will give me a discount next time.

I threw the business card on the ground at the first corner when I went out and changed hands. Just kidding, I will never deal with you again in this life.

When I got home and paid off some annoying small loans and credit cards, I still had a principal of 150,000 yuan left.

Based on my experience these days, I have never lost the day’s principal of 150,000 in the most dangerous time of ups and downs every day, so there is no pressure to win 30,000 with this principal a day.

The next goal I set for myself is to deal with debts of 10,000 to 20,000 yuan a day.

Early the next morning, I went to the mortgage company. Seeing that the door was still open, I frantically bombarded the bald man’s phone.

When he rushed to the company in a daze, I didn’t say a word of nonsense, and directly threw the house to him: 300,000, ten days, and this time only 10,000 in interest.

Although he showed extreme reluctance, high-quality customers like me are rare. Seeing my firm attitude, he also knew that it was meaningless to fight against me, so he agreed after a few simple complaints.

Until now, I am still holding my breath.

In yesterday’s game, I originally won 30,000 yuan and everything went well, but suddenly I was like a ghost, always wanting to buy my wife the bag she has been thinking about. I know the price, 9800, is not expensive, and the feeling was right at the time, I thought for a long time, and finally I couldn’t resist placing a bet of 9800 yuan.

At nine o’clock, kill directly, without giving me a chance.

I cursed my wife angrily.

The previous big defeat was because of her, and the failure this time was also because of her. It seems that when gambling in the future, she must not be seen or even thought of.

I don’t blame everything on my greed, let alone the way I bet.

It’s just a bet that women can’t be involved in this matter.

Like the next time I sat back in the stairwell again, not thinking about the damn bag, and just won $30,000 lightly, and it made my mind even stronger.

10,

Learning from the pain, constantly reflecting on why you failed, and then continuing to gamble are the basic conditions for every gambler.

I began to deliberately avoid contact with my wife. When I saw her every day, I would have an instinctive resistance. I was afraid that her magnetic field would interfere with me and affect my gambling luck.

In this regard, my argument to her is: I go out every day, and my body is covered with bacteria. You can’t have any problems with your body now. Try to avoid contact with anyone, including me.

She was obviously limped by me, and she also acquiesced to my statement.

At the same time, I set the principal at 300,000, repay the debt and interest, and all expenses must be based on the principal of 300,000.

The previous 300,000 went so smoothly every time, but when it became 150,000, it was suddenly lost. Maybe it has something to do with the principal.

It is better to kill the wrong one than to let it go.

At this time, my wife has been pregnant for 9 months. During the past few months, my debt has not decreased in any way, and of course, it has not increased.

Apart from taking my wife for a prenatal checkup, the most common person I have seen is bald.

I can’t count how many times I have mortgaged the house with him, and the interest rate has been changed from ten days to one day-basically on the day I get the money, I will redeem the house immediately after I win a little.

I’m scared.

Once, I lost the principal of 300,000 to 40,000. If God hadn’t opened his eyes and let me win back the principal, I might have committed suicide.

But overall, I win.

At least I have paid off my friend’s debt of tens of thousands of dollars. The small loan and credit card can be maintained. The daily expenses and the messy things I bought for my wife are all counted on the banker’s head.

However, the accident still happened.

One night before my due date, I was caught by my wife.

I just want to go up and win 2,000 yuan to reimburse the cost of the inspection in the past few days.

Because I thought it was troublesome, I didn’t go out again this time. Instead, I came to the living room and sat on a chair with my back to the bedroom.

I was so absorbed that I didn’t notice my wife standing behind me at some point.

Sensing a figure behind me, my hairs stood up all over, I stood up abruptly and turned my head.

Meet her disappointed eyes.

Stunned, puzzled, pondered.

But no matter how stupid she is, she can be sure that I am gambling at this time.

Then came all the previous things: our money, my parents’ money, her parents’ money and so on.

I lied to her too much.

The moment she was about to question me, I said first, don’t ask so many questions now, the child is important, don’t get angry.

She pursed her lips, tears silently.

Then turned around and walked back into the room.

11,

Early the next morning, my wife proposed to be hospitalized, and I readily agreed without sleeping a whole night.

To be honest, even now he asks me to jump off the stairs, I don’t hesitate.

I thought about the scene when I was discovered countless times, but only this time, I couldn’t expect it.

When my wife is about to have a baby for me.

She didn’t say a word to me until she was lying on the hospital bed.

When I pretended to be a good husband in front of my parents, I accidentally saw her eyes.

Eyes full of disgust and hatred.

I resisted the weakness of my legs and looked away, for fear that I would lose control and want to kneel if I took another look.

I secretly told myself that when the child is born, I must tell the whole story, to my parents, to her, and to all the people I have hurt.

With this kind of determination in the New Year, I began to carefully simulate the words of confessing to my family at the door.

Unknowingly, after more than two hours, the wife’s voice after entering the delivery room gradually became hoarse from the previous hoarseness, and now it was weak and weak.

I dare not go in to accompany the delivery, I am afraid that she will become more emotional when she sees me.

Standing at the door, my eyes were tearing apart, and I even forgot to notify my family.

I was so nervous that I almost peed my pants, not only because I was worried about the wife inside.

And the money in my card at this moment seems to be insufficient to pay for the next expenses.

The idea of the devil sprouted and intensified, and I felt that I was not as good as a pig or a dog.

But once I got this disgusting thought in my mind, I couldn’t stop it.

The more nervous I get, the more I want to gamble.

While struggling deep in my heart, I opened the gambling interface.

Accompanied by vague shouts from inside, I uncontrollably turned on the phone.

I want to make up for my wife and arrange the best confinement center for her.

Cary still has 20,000 yuan, while the confinement center costs 26,000 yuan a month.

You only need to win 10,000 yuan, just 10,000 yuan.

I defended myself deep in my heart: I didn’t gamble for the sake of gambling, I just didn’t want to wrong my wife.

With this thought, I felt a little relieved. It was five o’clock in the morning, and there were very few people in the aisle. I sat down on a chair in the aisle, rushed 10,000 yuan, and gambled all of it based on my feeling.

It took tens of seconds for the cards to be opened, but I felt like I was sitting on pins and needles.

At the moment when the cards were about to be opened, a little nurse actually walked over from a distance.

Such an angel in white is like a devil in my eyes at this moment, which makes me angry.

However, while angry, I still closed the phone.

At the same time, I pretended to be pacing back and forth, showing that I was very nervous inside.

The nurse glanced at me, and I gave her a dry laugh.

She turned her eyes blankly and didn’t stop her pace.

Naturally, I wouldn’t care about her indifference. As soon as she turned the corner, I frantically turned on my phone.

I blocked the part of the screen where the balance was displayed with my hand, starting from behind the decimal point and uncovering it bit by bit.

Ones digits, tens digits, hundreds digits, you can clearly see the numbers…

I was in ecstasy.

This game, I won.

In the delivery room, there was finally a loud cry.

12,

The child was born very smoothly, 5 catties and 7 taels, a boy.

When the nurse took the baby into my arms, I couldn’t hold back my tears.

How do you describe the feeling that blood is thicker than water?

The dying lover on the bed, the new life crying loudly in the arms.

They are my dearest, my dearest.

As for me, why didn’t I know how to stop after winning 10,000 in that game just now?

Why do I continue to gamble, I have enough confinement money.

I don’t know.

I burst into tears, mixed with disappointment with myself, guilt for my wife, joy for the newborn, and sorrow for the future.

I can’t forget the eyes she cast on me in her weak state, that kind of resentment, perhaps the only time in her life.

After the wife gave birth, she stayed in the hospital for a whole week. In fact, she could have been discharged from the hospital long ago, but she didn’t want to.

In the face of my parents’ doubts, I defended in every possible way.

I also seriously told the four old people: After a few days when she is emotionally stable, you all come to my house, and I want to tell you something.

My mother was impatient, and immediately asked me if I had no money.

I shook my head and said, no.

The mother-in-law is also open-minded, she is just this precious girl, and immediately said that they will find the best confinement wife for her daughter, and the money will be paid by their family.

Hearing this, the two old people who were holding their grandson suddenly started to get angry with each other.

Listening to the two mothers arguing and starting to argue, I slowly said, it’s not money, it’s my problem, I’m sorry for her, I’m sorry for you.

After hearing this, the two old people fell silent immediately. The father-in-law pointed at me and stopped talking.

At this time, my wife was breastfeeding the child in the room, and I glanced at the group of old people sitting on the sofa with a look of despair.

My father-in-law and mother-in-law still think that I cheated on my wife during her pregnancy until I said that I accidentally got involved in gambling.

In the living room of five people, they looked at each other in dismay. Perhaps for ordinary people like them, gamblers are characters that only exist in TV dramas.

I quietly talked about all my mistakes in the past year, no matter how big or small, and confessed everything to my elders.

When I said later, when I took the house book to mortgage, my father stood up and slapped me on the face.

The slap was very loud, but I didn’t feel much pain. When the habit of sex was too much, I saw my wife was standing sideways at the door of the bedroom, holding my son in her arms.

I began to cry, and with me, my mother, and then, my wife and children.

13,

Everyone has weaknesses, some are spouses, some are parents, and some are children.

I belong to the third category.

When I held my child for the first time, I knew that it was not only my flesh and blood, but also the only antidote to my deep gambling.

I no longer want to turn over, I no longer want to daydream, all the dissatisfaction disappeared from the moment I picked up the child. What I think about is how to raise him, how to make him healthy physically and mentally, how to make him able Stay away from gambling.

So, when I confess to my parents, no matter how much fear and guilt I have, I am still brave.

In addition, I also communicated with my parents a lot about ways to quit gambling.

My parents and parents-in-law chose to believe me in the end. After a few days of summing up, the two old people finally took out a sum of money to pay off my debts again.

I deliberately repaid the credit card after one month overdue. After confirming the bad information on the credit report, I paid it off and canceled it without any hesitation.

And those online loans, after learning that I have a bad record, gradually lost their quota.

In short, I isolated myself as a person who can’t use mobile payments.

After all this was done, my house book was taken away by my parents, all bank cards were cancelled, my mobile phone number was replaced with my father’s supplementary card, and my mother’s bank card was used. The usual expenses are only cash, and my wife strictly controls the amount.

I even sent a message in Moments, telling everyone I know, no matter what reason I use in the future, don’t lend me a penny.

In terms of spirit, I quickly found a job. A person’s laziness is not born. In the past half a year, I have become a lazy person. I need to get out of this situation quickly.

As for cheating on my wife, I didn’t say that I would never lie to her again, never gamble, etc. I just told her that I made such a mistake, for the sake of the child, please forgive me .

postscript.

This is my story from five years ago, and now my son is five years old and healthy.

My wife and I have a great relationship and I literally never gambled again.

During this period, I had confusion and thoughts, but I handled it properly when I quit gambling, so that I quickly suppressed my greed.

I have developed the habit of paying in cash, and to this day, I never have more than 500 yuan on me.

Once bitten by a snake, you will be afraid of well ropes for ten years. Betting on this poisonous snake, if you are bitten once, you will be afraid for a lifetime.

Because it drags not you alone, but the whole family.

Imagine, if I continued to gamble, what kind of person would I become?

Abandoning wives and children, all betrayed relatives.

In the end, I may be wandering on the streets of a foreign land, and I will be a street mouse for the rest of my life, without talking about ideals, and there will be no tomorrow.

I am very fortunate that I was able to look back in time after losing the money and read a lot of stories about gamblers on the Internet, all of which are shocking and appalling.

I am lucky.

At least for now, I have a decent job with a low salary, a hot meal waiting for me every day when I go home, a woman and son who love me, and a home of my own.

I am really happy, thank you.

Story from SINA.com